Today has been a pretty normal day.
Except for one thing.
As I was driving this afternoon, a lady in a silver pickup truck tried to pull out from a traffic light in front of me. The light was green for me and red for her. I’m not a fan of this “bully” tactic many people (typically drivers of trucks or bigger cars) try to pull, so I didn’t let her in. After all, I had no reason to do so, as my light was green (and there was a big gap in traffic behind me – she could wait for one more car to go by!). A couple of minutes later I pulled into where I was going. After I parked and got out of my car, I heard a voice behind me. “Hey, that was pretty rude, wasn’t it?”
Stunned, I turned around to see a lady in a silver pickup truck behind me. I responded, “What are you talking about?” (At this point, I hadn’t made the connection in my brain as to who she was.)
Her: “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Me: “I don’t even know who you are!” (Right after I made this statement, I realized that I actually did know who she was.) The woman in that truck followed me? I thought.
Then she began to yell gay slurs at me. In order to keep this post clean, I won’t post her exact words, but it’s pretty easy to guess.
I was stunned that this was happening and didn’t even know what to say. After she yelled the word a few times at me, I replied by saying, “I’m married, you idiot!”
I’ll be the first to confess that including the word “idiot” wasn’t my finest moment. I’m sure I could have responded more lovingly. But in my defense, I do believe that my response was at least accurate, as no one with a fully functional brain would be doing the things she was doing.
She simply responded, “Yeah right!” I responded by holding up my left hand, showing my wedding ring. I then turned and began to walk away as she resumed her yelling.
At least I redeemed myself from my last response with this one. I’m sure many would have been tempted to show her a different finger than the ring finger I displayed.
This is a rare situation, but in case for some reason something similar happens in the future, I’ve been thinking about what I would do the second time around.
So I’ll conclude with the following questions: How should I have responded to this situation? How do you think you would have responded had it happened to you?
Proverbs says don’t answer a fool. Just let ’em go crazy and tell them God bless you. 😀
I can relate a little. I’ve had a crazy manager go off on me assuming the worst about me, hurling unfounded insults, and accusing me of the things she herself was doing. Everything in me screams out to try and defend myself, but the more I tried, the worse whatever was motivating her to do this got. Finally I realized, you can’t argue with or persuade crazy. Especially, if motivated by irrational fear or hatred.
The funny thing is she didn’t fire me and even started talking me back in to the job when I tried to quit.
We want so much to defend ourselves, but I learned only God is our judge, so I echo Proverbs as well, don’t answer a fool!
I know that arguing with angry people adds fuel to their fire. I probably would have very calmly waited for them to run out of steam, saying nothing and staring at them. When they finished, I’d just walk away quietly. Don’t avoid the confrontation, but don’t participate. Works all the time in my classroom.
She would have ended up feeling like the fool she is.
She was out of control. You can’t really talk sense into a person like that. She could have waited for one more car as you suggested. Sounds as if she was ready to jump on somebody for any insignificant reason. Who knows who else she attacked before she got to where she was going. I think you handled it well and I’m glad you said something. Christians aren’t supposed to get run over and some of us forget that. When someone does that kind of thing to me I usually freeze up and it ruins the rest of my day. Still trying to work on my reactions to such things. You responded enough to make a point to her and at the same time know you handled it as well as possible.
I am very proud of you for not saying some things you probably felt like saying. I hate to say it but I probably would have fired back at her. I would not have been proud of that though. I’m glad I wasn’t there. It angers me that someone would treat my husband that way.
But then I start to wonder what her life is like. I wonder who may have bit her head off earlier and left her feeling like she needed to pay it forward. While people’s circumstances don’t excuse rude behavior, the circumstances might make it easier to feel compassionate toward them.
As always, I admire your patience and it is an example for me and others.